Now Everyone is Happy
by Sub-Zero879
Summary: -Old- Tsunade makes two mistakes against Naruto one on purpose, the other was an accident. How far will she go to ask for forgiveness? How far will Naruto go to forgive? And why is a female Kyuubi out? NarutoxTsunade, NarutoxKyuubi
1. Chapter 1

**Summery: **Tsunade makes two mistakes against Naruto; one on purpose, the other was an accident. How far will she go to ask for forgiveness? How far will Naruto go to forgive? And why is a _female_ Kyuubi out? NarutoxTsunade, NarutoxKyuubi

**Now Everyone is Happy**

* * *

Tsunade looked carefully around the room, studying each of the faces of the counselors, wondering what this meeting was about. Hyuuga Hiashi spoke, "Tsunade-sama, it is time that you chose a successor to become the next Hokage."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "I believe you all know who I'm going to choose. After all, I hit him through a wall ever time I see him."

Counselor 'A' smirked, "I'm afraid that Konoha is… unable to run under the rule of a demon."

Tsunade felt a rage starting to boil in her. She knew that she didn't have all the power, the council has some too, and if they decided that they didn't like her decision, they could over rule it. They also were degrading Naruto, even when he isn't there to defend himself. A brief image played in her mind:

_Flashback_

"_Naruto, the council decided that you shouldn't be our negotiator with the sand. They think that 'the demons' would plan on how to destroy both villages. I'm sorry Naruto," Tsunade spoke softly and sadly. She knew how much going to meet Gaara meant to him._

_He shocked her by smiling, "Who cares what those dried up monkey butts think? This means that I can go visit Gaara without having to worry about all the political stuff." He left her office, but not before saying, at the door, "and since you're a medical expert, do you think you could surgically remove the sticks from the butts?"_

_Tsunade starred blankly at the door. Around 15 seconds later, she burst out laughing. She wasn't laughing completely at the joke, but more on how the council's try on taking away his happiness made him happier._

_End Flashback_

_Dried up monkey butts,_ she snickered lightly at the name.

"Do you find this funny, Hokage-sama?" asked councilor 'B.'

_Yes,_ "No."

"Now, would you make your choice?"

Tsunade gave a thoughtful pose, before answering, "Since my first choice was declined, I ask for 10 days to think of another. Finding a successor isn't just pick and hope for the best."

Councilor 'C' nodded, "Understandable, we will see you in 10 days." The councilors left, and Tsunade sighed in relief, and then sighed again in depression.

_How am I going to say this to Naruto?_ She sat there thinking of different ways to tell him before deciding to just say it straight out.

Naruto wasn't having a great day. First, Kakashi didn't show up for training, wasting a few hours. Second, Sakura kept degrading his ninja skills for not bringing Sasuke back. Then, she started insulting his honor, talking about how he never keeps a promise, and how he abandoned his comrade. Third, the village started a mob that tried to kill him.

He got home to find his apartment destroyed again. Also inside was a purple haired ANBU sitting on his shredded sofa. Naruto, thinking she was going to attack him, got into a defensive stance. The ANBU smiled slightly and stood up. She held up her hands showing that she meant no harm.

Naruto accepted this and waited for her to speak. He wasn't disappointed, "Uzumaki-san, Hokage-sama wished to speak with you." Naruto thanked her and left.

On Naruto's way to the Hokage tower, he felt a tingle in his spine. It was telling him that something bad was going to happen, but he dismissed it as Kyuubi throwing a temper tantrum. Even though it was small and he dismissed it, it was enough to make him lose his smile. Once at the door, he was stopped by the ANBU guards. After some yelling and a small brawl, they let him in.

Tsunade heard the commotion outside the door and prepared for the worse. Soon after, Naruto came in with a serious face and sat down. She began, "Naruto, the last council meeting was about who the next Hokage was going to be. I told them that it would be you..."

Naruto, seeing her depressed face gave him new fears and he asked, "But?"

"But they wouldn't accept it. You can't be Hokage here. I'm sorry," Tsunade felt tears starting to build in the corner of her eyes, she held them back, she needed to be strong right now, if only for Naruto.

Naruto's mask cracked, his life long goal gone, cracked farther, friends leaving him, shattering, nothing left, gone. Not a hint of emotion was in Naruto's face. He stood up and left. When the door clicked shut the dam broke and tears rushed down her face.

That face, it was a face of a man who had nothing left. The face of a man who has seen too much. The face of a man who has no need to live. (The scene here sucks but I'm having a hard time coming up with something better for it TT DO NOT FLAME)

Tsunade's heart skipped a beat. Would Naruto really kill himself? She never figured out what his real thoughts were, his mask was too strong. She quickly called ANBU, "S-ranked mission: find Uzumaki Naruto NOW!" They nodded and poofed out of existence.

Naruto rushed to the front gate. Once there, he was stopped by 2 ANBU wearing dog masks, "And where do you think you're going?"

Naruto turned his attention to the male one and saw spiky gray hair, "A-ranked mission from Tsunade-Sama."

The female blinked and looked to her partner. He nodded and she opened the gate. Naruto wordlessly walked through and picked up speed as he got farther away.

After about 5 minutes the ANBU search team landed at the gate. The squad captain asked, "Have you seen the demon recently?"

The Guards looked at each other. "Yes, he came by stating that he had to leave because of an A rank mission. Why do you ask?" The dog masked man asked intently.

"Hokage-sama has requested his presence immediately, she seemed quite distresses and fearful about something."

Suddenly the dog masked man disappeared in a swirl of leafs. He appeared in the Hokage's office. "Is something wrong with Naruto?" he asked worriedly.

Tsunade turned around, her eyes red and puffy, tears leaking down her face, "he's... he's..." She stopped to pull herself together, "He's run away from Konoha and it's my fault!" The tears began leaking again. "Please, Kakashi, (secret ANBU revealed!) retrieve him for me... alive. I'm assigning you an S ranked mission." Kakashi nodded and disappeared outside the gates. He sprinted in the direction Naruto left to.

_Time skip, 5 days._

Gloomy Konoha seemed even worse with the clouds. Rain threatened to fall any minute. Where some of the city was filled with sorrow, most was rejoicing. Uzumaki Naruto, aka Kyuubi, aka demon brat, was finally dubbed as a nuke-nin. The rookie 9 + 3 – 2, along with their sensei, Iruka, Shizune, soon-to-leave Jiraiya, Sand Siblings, and most of all Tsunade. Jiraiya set out, by order of the hokage, to find Naruto.

It was a late night and Tsunade was busy getting smashed. Even Shizune felt up to it. Eventually the bar began to empty until only she was left. At around 4 in the mourning a man came in, and he was holding some documents. Tsunade didn't even spare him a glance as he sat next to her. He held the documents in front of her and said, "If you sign these all your troubles will be removed from this world." In her drunken haze she easily accepted and signed it. What she failed to do though, was read the document. It between all the nonsense it read:

_I, hereby issue the order that Uzumaki Naruto be executed._

Short, simple, and straight to the point.

_Five days later..._

It had began to rain, and a feeling of misfortune was felt in Konoha. The ANBU gate squad ran through the town, spreading word that the demon has returned. Of course, they chose to stay away from Tsunade and everyone who may tell her. The town was gathered at the entrance, not bothered by the rain. Lightning flashed across the stormy sky. Through their rain-blurred vision they could see a mangled shape approaching.

Lightning flashes (ok here's the deal, lightning flashed symbolized the entrance/exit of a flash back. NO CONFUSION)

_Naruto removed his hand from the tree, his blood red eyes piercing Sasuke's. He charged again, tail racing behind him. Sasuke, in cursed for two, also charged. Hand to foot, tail to hand (wing?). Naruto grabbed Sasuke's throat and threw him into another tree. Sasuke went through some seals and made a chidori. Naruto growled began to form a rasengan._

_Suddenly he howled, screaming in rage, misery, anguish. Another tail formed behind him. The rasengan doubled in size and went through colors. It started blue, the normal one. Kyuubi's chakra began absorbing into it turning it purple. As he gained his second tail it turned blood red. Sasuke channeled all his chakra into his chidori, turning it black. They charged again. Sasuke aimed to kill, straight to the heart. Milliseconds before impact, Naruto canceled his rasengan. He took the chidori._

_Upon impact, they both reverted back to normal. Sasuke gasped, "Naruto! What are you thinking you idiot!" His hand was pierced through Naruto's chest, but there was no Kyuubi chakra to heal it. As Sasuke began to pull his hand out, Naruto hit him in the back of the head, knocking Sasuke out. Naruto slowly tried pulling the hand out, but gasped and coughed out blood at the first inch._

'_Rest kit, let me heal you," a surprisingly gentle Kyuubi requested. Naruto blocked the link between them, and headed towards Konoha. Every time Sasuke would wake up, Naruto would knock him out again._

Lighting flashes

The mangled shape gets closer, revealing the demon with... an arm through his chest? They noticed that the arm was attached to their precious Sasuke-sama. When Naruto entered the gate, it closed behind him leaving him trapped inside a circle of demon hating shinobi. He collapsed in the middle of them. Quickly, someone pulled the arm out of his chest, as roughly as possible. Someone quickly brings Sasuke to the hospital.

The man from the bar speaks, "Uzumaki Naruto, I hereby announce that you are to be executed for your crimes against Konoha."

Gasping for breath, Naruto ask, "under whose authority?"

"Hokage-sama's." He shows the document to Naruto. As Naruto reads through it he gasps as he sees that not only does it state that he will be killed, it also bares the signature of Tsunade, if a little drunk when writing it.

A betrayed feeling seeps through Naruto. He shouts at them with tear filled eyes, "So that's how it is huh? None of you want me around?" The newly implanted kunai in his shoulder answered that. He ripped it out and threw it back twice as hard. It nailed the Chunin in the face. In a spurt of blood and a scream, the man went down.

Before Naruto could take a breath, he was getting attacked on all sides. Both villagers and shinobi attacked. Naruto defended himself as best as he could, but it wasn't enough. Soon knifes, shurinken, katana, and kunai alike were all impaled within him. He fell down in a bloody mess. Three villagers and two shinobi lied by him, although they weren't breathing. Many others were covered in scratches and cuts. He rose to his knees, a look of wild defiance in his eyes. He raised his eyes into... Sakura?

Sakura approached a circle of men and women, curiosity getting the better of her. She heard them screaming and cheering. Chants of death filling her ears. She pushed her way to the front to see Naruto lying on the ground, broken and bleeding. He began to rise. He brought his head up to reveal slitted blood red eyes. His wild eyes bore into her confused ones.

Someone had answers and she was about to find out who. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!"

The crowd all looked at her. She seemed to be more curious than angry, despite the yelling. A man near the back answered, "The Kyuubi has injured the Uchiha prodigy upon his return trip from being a Nuke-nin. Also, by order of the Hokage-" he paused to show her the document, "-he is to be executed."

When she finished reading the document, she handed it back to him and rushed to the hospital to see how Sasuke was doing. Betrayed and hurt, Naruto made five Kage Bunshin. They fought back against the crowd and took down five more men before they were all dispelled. A man stabbed his spear through Naruto's chest, hoping to bring the demon down. It didn't finish him, but it help him down for the soon to come execution.

Five (I seem to use a lot of fives here...) shinobi lined up. They each cast a dragon of their respected elements. The fire, water, shadow, earth, and lightning dragons hit and impaled Naruto through the seal. He roared with animalistic fury.

It felt like his nerves exploded from the pain. He smelled sizzled flesh, intoxicating him in his delirious state. The sight of blinding lights filled his vision and seemed to over load his eyes. The sound of his roar went unheard to him as the sounds of the elements shook his eardrum to the core, but, just as it began, it ended. He fell lifelessly to the floor.

A boom shook the foundations of the Hokage Tower, sending Tsunade out of her stupor and look out the window. She saw a mob of people circling around someone. She quickly left to go investigate.

Jiraiya and Kakashi were slowly returning to the village. They found each other three days ago and tried to look for Naruto together. Kakashi had sent out his dogs, Jiraiya his frogs, to find any sign of him. Yesterday, they gave up and began to head back to inform Tsunade of their misfortune. They were finally in sight of the gate when they felt a large force of chakra being used followed by a huge rumble. Thinking Orochimaru could be back, they rushed back to the village.

They all arrived at the same time to see a lifeless form on the ground. Upon closer inspection they saw that it was Naruto. They gasped and rushed to his side. Tsunade checked for a pulse and found none. They heard whispers around them, murmuring about how they should get out of there. Not willing to lose another, Tsunade pumped as much chakra as she could into the corpse. She cried as she did so. She ignored the nauseating smell of smelted flesh. The gruesome sight of the mangled Naruto brought tears to both Kakashi and Jiraiya. The heart wrenching sorrow of the death of their Energizer Bunny was heard by their sobs.

But now was not the time for mourning, now was the time for revenge. Kakashi was first to act as he beheaded the closest man to him. Jiraiya acted next with a rasengan through five other people. Tsunade used pure strength to remove the heart of the poor woman who was nearest to her. The crowd scattered and tried to escape. They were hunted and killed by the rampaging trio. When they finished, the returned to what used to be Naruto and tried to cope with the loss of him.

As Kakashi bent down to pick him up, red chakra burst through Naruto's seal. They covered their eyes from the blinding light. When it cleared, they found a woman with flaming red hair kneeling next to Naruto. She had what looked to be a fur coat on, and had heart wrenching sobs as she hugged Naruto. Kakashi, at loss on what to do with this knew comer, put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. He heard her whisper, "He's... he's gone. After all that crap he was put through he was murdered in cold blood. The bubble gum bitch is mine." She gave one tighter hug to her kit before running towards the hospital. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned, especially if you're the ruler of hell.

The trio followed her and watched as she entered the hospital. A scream, broken glass, and a grunt was heard before they saw her dragging a limp Sakura out of there. "This BITCH stood by and watched as they tortured and killed him. Then she zooms off to go visit her Sasuke-kun without an ounce of compassion!" She dragged her all the way to the interrogation office and gave him to Ibiki (that's the interrogator right?). She told him what Sakura had done, and he told her that he would give the worst torture session in years. She thanked him and left to go rejoin the others.

_Five days later..._

It was Naruto's funeral day. The Rookie 9 + 3 - 1 was there, including Sasuke. The missing member was Naruto himself. Naruto's body was being kept by Kyuubi for safe keeping. They each gave their prayers and moved on. Iruka started with the adults' speeches, "Naruto-kun... you have always been like my little brother. I sniff always hoped to adopt you as such, but the council never allowed me to. I hope that where you are now, you are much happier than you are here. I'm sorry Naruto that I couldn't have been there sooner. Much love, Iruka-niisan."

Kakashi followed, "Ano... Naruto, you always were the trouble maker for the team, always trying to pick a fight with Sasuke or trying to date Sakura. In time you gained my respect and I was proud of you. My training was always revolved around Sasuke and yet you still overpowered him. I wish I could have been a better sensei and I hope that you can forgive me in the next life."

Next was Jiraiya, Sasuke, Gai, Kurenai, and for some reason, Anko. Finally, Tsunade spoke, "My... my little Naruto-kun. You were always there to brighten my day. At first, I saw you as a nuisance, then a brother. But as the times changed I began to see you like Dan... There was something about the way you were determined to follow your dream that made me want to help you. Naruto, where ever you are, I want you to know that from the bottom of my torn heart I loved you. And even now, as I remember your life and how it became entwined with mine, I realize I still do. I love you Naruto. Please don't forget me." Once she finished, Jiraiya came and gave her a hug. It wasn't one of his perverted ones, just one that a friend would give a friend. She accepted with and cried into his shoulder with full force.

Kyuubi also gave a speech, "Naruto... My sweet, dear, Naruto-kun. I've always watched your life through your eyes. I was there through every beating, every assassination attempt, every decision, and every battle. I could only watch from the sidelines and heal you when I could. At first I only wanted to get free, to kill the rest of this damned village, but as you showed me life through a human's eye, my decision changed. I wanted you to fulfill your goal. I tried my hardest to keep you alive, to keep you moving and fighting to the end. I knew that my freedom would cost you your life, and I felt that you knew that too.

"In the last fight, you chose to take the chidori in fear of killing Sasuke, but, damnit, you should have let me heal you. I wanted to be there for you to the end, but you blocked me out. You knew what they would do to you when you returned and you accepted your fate. You stubborn ass! You always talked about how you could change destiny, now matter how hard it was. You spoke like a true sage and yet you returned to your shit-hole just to become murdered in cold-blood. I loved you then and I love you now, Kyuubi."

With her closing speech, the funeral ended. They each returned to their respected households and remember the good times and bad times they had with him.

_Five years later..._

The village changed since Naruto's death. It seemed to be like a normal village. Villagers shopping, shinobi running by, Genin being taught, and it seemed as if everyone has moved on. However, not everyone has gotten over his death.

For Tsunade, she still ruled as Hokage. Many of the former council men had been fired. Her eyes no longer held the warmth that they used to. Her every movement seemed to radiate 'I don't take shit'. She walked on down to Naruto's old apartment, where Kyuubi now lives.

Kyuubi hasn't physically changed much. Her cloths and body still looked the same, however, if you looked inside her eyes, you would see the fire and determination that was once withheld in Naruto. She heard Tsunade enter and grinned. _Finally, the day has come..._ Tsunade stepped up right next to her and began to work on their 'project'.

Their product wasn't what most people would call normal, however. It was a corpse. Not just any corpse though, it was _Naruto's_ corpse. They had almost repaired it to its former glory. Everyday, for the last five years, Tsunade would pump here healing chakra into the corpse and repair the mutilated tissue. But, since it wasn't a living corpse, it took a lot more chakra to repair the simplest of tissue. The non-living tissue seemed to reject the incoming chakra, but that didn't stop them from trying, and today was the day they would finally finish. What was Kyuubi doing during this whole corpse mending process? She was using her chakra to keep the body from deteriorating. She also kept ALL decomposers away from it.

Tsunade wiped her brow, finishing repairing the last of the ruptured tissue. She then asked Kyuubi, "Now what? You said that once it was repaired we could get the soul back into the body."

Kyuubi eyed her strangely, "I'm afraid that WE can't get the soul to return to the body, but I do know someone who can."

Tsunade arched an eyebrow, "And who exactly would that be?"

Kyuubi grinned with satisfaction as she let the single name slip through her mouth, "Ranmaru."

* * *

Well... That's my new story. I'm still trying to decide whether or not to give another chapter. If I get THIRTY reviews asking me to give it another, I will. If I don't, I'll leave it will this mysterious ending.

If you haven't gotten that far into the series or you have forgotten, Ranmaru was a little boy who helped one of the seven swordsmen named Raiga. When Raiga took a rasengan in the chest, curtsey of Naruto, he was killed and buried under a pile of rocks. Neji used his Byakuugan and saw that the man had no chakra inside him aka dead. Later, Ranmaru returned to the area and brings him back alive. At first, they all thought Ranmaru was killed because he revived Raiga, but it just turned out he was unconscious. At the end Ranmaru becomes Naruto's friend and they were all happy. THE END.

Sub-zero879: Alright Churro time to edit this. 

Churro: Zzzz...

Sub-zero879: Churro? Kuso... you're ASLEEP! Sigh ... Please review and tell me where my spelling errors are.


	2. Death is Life

Alright, I know I only have 29 reviews telling me to continue (32 total), but I got anxious and wanted to see how this story finished (I actually didn't know, my mind wanders and makes this stuff. Seriously). Enjoy.

* * *

**Now Everyone is Happy: Death is Life

* * *

**

_Five days after the funeral..._

Sasuke entered the Hokage office, Kyuubi at his side. They found Tsunade with her head down on the table, surrounded by sake bottles, and she looked ready to pass out. Shizune hasn't come back to work since Naruto's death. Upon entry, Tsunade looked up and bluntly asked, "What the hell do you want?"

Not even slightly fazed by the dullness, Sasuke asked, "May I read Naruto's file? I... I need to know." She wordlessly handed it to him with sluggish, drunken movement. Not even bothering to talk, she pointed at Kyuubi, indicating that it's her turn.

Kyuubi glanced at Sasuke, who was reading the file with interest, despite the disgusted looks that crosses his face, "it would be best if we talked in private." Tsunade lazily did a shooing motion to Sasuke and gave her attention to Kyuubi.

_With Sasuke..._

Sasuke was reading the file as he walked in the direction of Naruto's apartment. The way he skillfully dodged passerby's, while reading intently, made him look much like his old sensei. Naruto's file was divided into chapters, much like a documentary. Chapter one read:

_Uzumaki Naruto was born on October 10, the same day the Kyuubi attacked. In order to defeat the Kyuubi, the Yondaime was forced to seal it into Naruto. The reason behind this was that the chakra of the demon would need to be merged with the host. Since the chakra coils start forming at birth, the older the person, the higher chance of death was possible. Not wanting to risk any more lives, he placed it into the one person who had the highest chance of living, a newborn. In this case it was Naruto. This jutsu cost the Forth his life. When Sarutobi, the Sandaime, found the baby with a seal, the dead Hokage, and a Kyuubi turning to stone (1), he knew what had happened._

_Sarutobi gathered everyone in the village and explained what happened. He also announced that he was retaking his position as Hokage. He announced that this baby, Uzumaki Naruto, was a hero to the village. Unfortunately, a random man shouted out that the whiskers found on the face of the baby meant that he was actually the Kyuubi itself and they should avenge the Yondaime by killing it. Then most of the grieving crowd, that had an uncontrollable need to vent, quickly agreed and banded together to kill Naruto. Sarutobi tried to stop them with the help of ANBU, but they also wanted to destroy the baby. In the end, the baby was pierced with four kunai in the stomach._

_However, right before the assassins' eyes, the wounds healed in a burst of red chakra, _Kyuubi's_ red chakra. This further pushed them into believing that Naruto was the Kyuubi. Sarutobi finally crushed the raid and hid the baby for two years. And thus Naruto's first day of life ended with an assassination attempt._

As Sasuke read he figured out that this wasn't just Naruto's profile but also the written history of Konoha. He looked up and found himself at Naruto's apartment. He attempted to enter the normal way, by turning the door knob. It didn't budge and he looked down at it. The thing was a MINIMUM of fifty years old. It was an old style knob made of a flimsy metal that is completely rusted over to irreparable levels. He dared to look at the doors hinges and found them in the same condition.

Looking for a way in, he found the fire escape. This door didn't even have a knob and he slipped right in. He then remembered something.

_Flashback, during team seven days..._

_Sasuke was getting annoyed. Sakura was bugging him with endless questions and both Kakashi and Naruto weren't there. He knew it was futile to search for a Joonin (2), and settled for retrieving the Energizer Bunny._

_He knocked on Naruto's door and shouted, "dobe, hurry up already!"_

_A sound of nervous shuffling was heard behind the door and suddenly Naruto shouted, "Come out to the back, I'll show you something that will make you jealous, teme!" Curious and annoyed, Sasuke walked out to the back of the apartment where the fire escape was. He saw Naruto open the door there that connected him to the escape and jump out. Naruto did a few flips on the way down using the various poles and tried to show off. Near the bottom, he slipped when holding one of the poles and landed on his back._

_Sasuke walked away muttering, "dobe..."_

_End flashback..._

_So that's why Naruto would only leave through here,_ Sasuke thought to himself. He glanced around and was horrified. The place looked like a battlefield fought between shinobi and ramen. Holes and gashes were found everywhere: floor, furniture, walls, ceiling, and even the refrigerator. He noticed that the hole in the refrigerator made it leak cold air and that everything inside it was rotten. Ramen cups were tossed around in different places and the whole place reeked of it.

He walked into Naruto's bedroom and was relieved to find it... livable. The bed looked like it needed to be replaced... ten years ago, but it was still standing. His dresser was in very good condition. On it was a water balloon, a rubber ball, a regular balloon, Gama-chan, a photo, his alarm clock, and an envelope.

Sasuke looked at the photo and blinked. He blinked again. It was of him riding on Itachi's shoulders and Naruto pouting. He slipped it into one of his various pockets before looking at the envelope.

It was addressed to Tsunade. He picked it up and read through it. While reading it, his face broke into a sorrowful grin. He folded it and placed it into his jacket. He then turned to leave, heading for the front door. He again tried to open it and failed. He gave an exasperated sigh and headed towards the fire escape.

The door was suddenly surrounded by a red chakra and gave off a bright light. Feeling the demonic force behind him and seeing the bright light, Sasuke turned around and watched the door with interest. The light dimmed and the chakra faded, revealing the door had changed. It opened with relative ease and Kyuubi walked in.

_With Kyuubi..._

Upon hearing the door close after Sasuke left, Kyuubi began her proposal to the Hokage, "Tsunade, I have some information that I just know you'll love to hear." Tsunade didn't even seem slightly interested, but let her continue none the less. "While I was... imprisoned inside Naruto, I was able to view events that happened inside his life. With those events, I found a way to bring Naruto back from the dead," Kyuubi paused, gouging her reaction.

Tsunade sobered instantly, "please, continue." Her back straightened and she leaned forward on her desk. It was pitiful how desperate her posture was once hearing of a chance to revive Naruto.

"First, we need to return the corpse to its former glory..."

_At Naruto's apartment..._

Kyuubi gave her 'I'm ruler of Hell' glare at Naruto's front door. It wouldn't budge, even though she was the second strongest being in existence. She sighed and began the process of transforming the door. In that process, the knob and hinges were melted down and smelted back in useable conditions. She turned the decaying wood back into living wood before it died again with lack of nourishment. It still got the job done of returning it to a decent door. She called back her powers and entered the room.

When she entered, she wasn't surprised to find Sasuke staring back at her, sensing his presence outside. She WAS surprised to find, however, an envelope in his hand addressed to Tsunade. She told him that she was going to be living here, and he left, presumable to the Hokage.

_With Tsunade..._

Tsunade was... giddy. For the first time in who knows how many years, she was excited and _anxious_ for something in the near future. Although this 'near future' was actually five years. Not twenty minutes since Kyuubi's departure, Sasuke reentered.

He was surprised to find her staring intently at him, her eyes holding an unknown fire. He handed her the letter and explained where he found it.

Tsunade opened the letter and read aloud:

"Dear obaachan,

"If you're reading this letter, I did not survive my encounter with Sasuke. I don't have much time to write this, so I'll make it quick. Something that I must say is that I, Uzumaki Naruto, love you with all my heart. I wish I could have told you this sooner, but fear of rejection and of the villagers compelled me to hold my tongue. The next is my motives behind this task. I now realize I have no place among this village and that I must move on. My one reason for staying was to be Hokage. All my other reasons are dead or nuke-nin. If I did live, I would have left this death camp and became a nuke-nin myself.

"Another thing, when I stole the kin-jutsu scroll, I read some information on the seal. I can release the Kyuubi at anytime, but the process will end up killing me due to the fact that my chakra was merged with hers. Yes, hers. I found that behind the deep and scary voice of the Kyuubi, it was missing something between its legs, that should have been several stories long and as thick as a tree, that makes it male (honestly, I mean it should be huge and its not there!). I also found that when I die, I have ten seconds to talk and/or release the Kyuubi before the death god himself takes my/our soul. I'm more than certain that if I don't survive, I'm going to release her.

"As a parting gift, I give some instructions on how to lesson the paperwork you do. Make Kage Bunshin do it for you. They have exactly the same hand writing as you and will greatly lesson the stress and workload.

"Best of luck to you,

Naruto"

Tsunade's face was scrunched in confusion, _why the hell didn't I think of that._ She folded the letter and put it in her robe for safe keeping. She grinned and made five Kage Bunshin and forced them to do the overwhelming paperwork. It was then that she heard a commotion inside the Counselor Meeting Room. Her and Sasuke, who hadn't left yet, went inside and were shocked and disgusted.

The counselors were having a party. Beer kegs were stocked by the barrel and a feast was laid on a table. They were cheering and confetti was falling from the ceiling. A banner on the wall read "Bless the gods, the Kyuubi has returned to Hell, may he rest in peace." When she entered, she was noticed and counselor 'C' offered her a drink. Her reply was a broken jaw a new human imprint to the nearest wall.

The noise quieted down as they all turned to see who the party crasher was. They nearly pissed their pants when they saw the Godaime Hokage, Tsunade, glaring at them with killing intent not found by Orochimaru. They scattered from her wrath but were beat down in here vengeance. The ones who thought they escaped only ended up meeting their precious Uchiha('s chidori in their face). Oh yes, much blood was shed that night, although surprisingly only from those who met Sasuke.

_Later that night..._

Sasuke was once again reading Naruto's file. He was currently inside the Uchiha Complex and lying on his bed. Chapter two read:

_For two years Naruto was kept under a Kage level Henge. He was also kept inside an orphanage. However, after those two years, on another October 10__th__, the people went out on a raid to find the 'missing' Kyuubi. Needless to say, with ten Joonin, fifty Chuunin, and hundreds of villagers and Genin, they found Naruto quite quickly._

_By this time, Sarutobi had gotten a few people to see the truth about Naruto. Among those were Hatake Kakashi, Yuuhi Kurenai, Sarutobi Asuma, Mitarashi Anko, Inuzuka Tsume, Inuzuka Hana, Uchiha Itachi, Akimichi Chooza, Yamanaka Inoichi, and Nara Shikato. The Sannin (Fact: Sannin means three people. They are 'The Three') also know about the truth._

_The leaders of the raid were the Hyuuga family, who were easily able to track the kid, and the Uchiha family, who were easily able to see through the Henge. With the Hyuuga's help, they tracked and found every two year old they could with their Byakugan. Then the Uchiha's would observe the kids with their Sharingan, piercing through any Genjutsu or Henge. Needless to say, they found the boy with relative ease._

_What they did to the boy was-_

Sasuke frowned; the rest of the page was blanked out. He turned the page, finding out that the next two were also blacked out. He turned a few more, finding that a total of six blacked out pages. He read on:

_After that... torture session, the few people who Sarutobi had explained the truth to had-_

Sasuke dropped the file, eyes widened and teeth clenched. _Six pages... It took SIX PAGES to describe the torment Naruto had to go through when he was only two fucking years old!_ Sasuke. Was. Pissed. Reluctantly, he began reading again:

_-fought and broke up the raid. Needless to say, the mangled corpse they found made them almost 100 percent sure that Naruto was going to die. Surprisingly, with the help of both Kyuubi's chakra and Tsunade's healing prowess, he made a full recovery. He didn't even have any scars, except maybe some mental ones._

_It was then Sarutobi realized that Naruto would never be fully accepted by the general population and that it was no use trying to hide him. He put three trusted ANBU to be private guards that would protect Naruto from any more raids. The three were Uchiha Itachi, Uzuki Yuugao, and Morino Ibiki. The three became quite the fearsome group. Naruto had moved into his own apartment and many people thought that he would be an easy target. Many people were never heard of again for the next two years._

Sasuke finished the chapter and put the file away. He decided to have a talk with a few people the next day.

_The next day..._

Sasuke got up and put on a standard Uchiha uniform before stopping. He remembered something...

"_You focus on your group, and you focus on your clan, and you focus on your name (that's really fun to say in Japanese). These kinds of things should be done away with, as it restrains us and our capabilities. Also, things we have not seen yet and things that we do not know yet... It is foolish to fear them."_

Sasuke grinned. Itachi had said those words. _At that time, I was scared of those words. Now, I embrace them, _thought Sasuke to himself, _if I revive the clan, they will never returned to being the self-centered pricks they were. Maybe... Maybe its time to give up revenge on Itachi. He made true, strong statements about the clan; he just took it to the extreme. After all, being pressured by every selfish prick to become the best there is and throwing all their weight on your shoulders would do something drastic to your mind._

Sasuke took off his Uchiha uniform and put on casual clothing. He stuck to the black clothing, but it didn't have the regular Uchiha fan on the back, instead, it had a windmill type fan, with five blades on it. _The Uchiha Fan represents the fan the fans the fire of the Uchiha pride. This fan represents the fan that powers our soul. Blade one is our pride. Blade two is our integrity. Blade three is our greed. Blade four is our conscious. Blade five is our lust. The wind that moves it is the unstoppable force that keeps all five blades in motion, never letting them linger on one trait, balancing them out. By accepting this crest I will represent the... Uchiha, _that was Sasuke's oath as the new head of clan.

Sasuke made his way down the street, once again reading Naruto's file. He was headed towards the home of Uzuki Yuugao. Chapter three read:

_Naruto's fourth birth day, October 10__th__. The villagers had once again started another raid. This time, it was different. They were killing everyone who got in their way. Aino Masa, Aino Sayuri, Sarutobi Yuki (3), Inuzuka Ryoga, Uchiha Akira, Uchiha Genma, Hyuuga Akako, and Morino Ranko were among the people who died trying to defend Naruto. That night, people changed. Konoha fell into civil war, only to be stopped by three people. Naruto's three personal guards assassinated 3,420 people that night (4). Unknown amount wounded._

_After that, the ANBU guard for Naruto broke up. Morino Ibiki lost his wife that night, forever changing him. He became a sadist, taking great pleasure in tormenting and hurting others. To protect the people, Sarutobi promoted him to Interrogator Squad. A week later, Uchiha Itachi went on a rampage killing off all but one member of the Uchiha clan before running off to become a Nuke-nin. Uzuki Yuugao, an orphan at birth, had no family to begin with. However, after a massacre like that, she needed severe therapy. She went on a two year break before returning to ANBU._

_Two days after the slaughter, they found Orochimaru doing experiments on people who he captured during the short but gory civil war. If he asked for permission to do those experiments, he would have been able to get a warrant and not be blamed for them, seeing as how most of his victims were actually people lined up for death row. Orochimaru was forced to become Nuke-nin for crimes against humanity._

_As for Naruto, he was also forced to take a part in defending himself. After a week and a half of therapy, he had told the new police force, which had been formed due to there being no more eligible Uchiha, about what he had to do. He killed a total of twelve villagers, two Genin, and a lucky kitchen knife throw killed one Chuunin. Physical damage he obtained was both femurs broken, all ribs cracked, lacerated liver, lungs, kidney, small intestine, large intestine, stomach, a sever to both jugular veins, both wrist cut to bloody ribbons, a broken neck, and a fractured cranium. To protect his sanity, the memories of this were sealed in a scroll, kept in safe keeping by Sarutobi, later given to Jiraiya. He was to return these memories to Naruto when he becomes eighteen years old. A reason behind returning this hell to Naruto is quoted by Sarutobi as "no man should be deprived of what is rightfully his, no matter how disgusting or painful it is."_

Sasuke closed the folder, that's all he needed to read for now. He soon arrived at Yuugao's house. He knocked and waited. A purple haired woman soon answered. She looked intently at him, "can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for any information you might have on Naruto," replied Sasuke. His posture showed an unknown patience, yet it still held a lazy look to it. To some, he seemed to resemble his old sensei more and more.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know Naruto that well," she replied and began to close the door.

Sasuke stopped the door and stepped inside, "oh, but I believe you do, Ms. Uzuki, personal guard for Uzumaki Naruto for two years before suffering severe trauma and temporarily resigned from ANBU for and took another two years as a break."

Yuugao gasped, "How do you know that? That's confidential information, for Hokage-Sama's eyes only." She closed the front door.

Holding up the file, Sasuke replied, "I got permission. Feel free to read some. I believe you'll like chapter three."

She took the file and began reading. When she was done, she was in tears. Whether from reliving past memories or in pity for Naruto, Sasuke would never know. Either way, she recovered and handed the file back to him. "Anything you want to add to that?" Sasuke asked.

Hesitantly, she answered, "Ye-... Yes, on that night..."

_Don't you just love flashbacks?_

_Yuugao was waiting impatiently on the roof with Itachi and Ibiki. "Something is going to happen tonight, I can feel it," she snapped, "I just don't what it is yet."_

_Itachi kept to his usually quite self and said nothing, only staring out into the darkness. An unusual thing, though, was that his Sharingan was activated. It was Ibiki who answered her, "well, wake me if something happens."_

_Yuugao smiled sweetly and bounced up to his almost sleeping form. In a sing-song voice she said, "oh Ibiki!" Before hitting him across the face and shouting at not so ANBU levels, "PAY ATTENTION!" Before Ibiki could groan, they heard glass breaking inside the house. Itachi was gone in a second._

_Yuugao hurried into the house via fire escape (like there was another way in). She found Naruto missing and a broken plate on the ground. She would have guessed that Naruto just dropped it when he heard her yell, but the blood on the ground proved that wrong. Ibiki was right next to her when he also saw it. "Shit," they both muttered._

_They rushed out of the house and saw Itachi run up to them, Naruto in tow. They saw blood smeared across his weasel mask and new what had happened. Itachi then said in a _worried_ voice, "5,000, minimum. Tori (Ibiki) protect the people; this isn't the same as last time. Neko (Yuugao) protect Naruto. You shouldn't be a part of this." Now, if Itachi sounds worried, BE worried._

_Yuugao placed Naruto in a corned inside his house and stood in front of him, sword drawn. She was staring out the window. "Shouldn't be a part of this my ass..." She then placed a Kage Bunshin in front of Naruto and rushed back outside._

_What she saw was... genocide. Bodies were littered everywhere. Civilian, ninja, dogs, bugs, nothing was spared. She hurried on ahead and saw Ibiki. "Tori, shouldn't you be-" Ibiki was holding his wife, although she was missing a few organs._

"_Wh- why? Why couldn't I save her Yuugao?" He looked up at her, eyes haunted, red... soulless. He stood up, still holding the corpse and asked again, "Why couldn't I save her Yuugao? Am I too weak? Am I not fast enough? Do I lack... _something?_" the way he said that sent shivers through her body. She looked back at his eyes. They held something. Something..._

_He laid down the body and vanished. Next to her, she heard some screams. She whirled only to find... Ibiki? There were two new bodies on the ground. They weren't killed by sword or kunai. 'Bare hands,' she realized. Ibiki vanished again, out to kill more. Yuugao, knowing she had a mission, also left._

_She rushed down the street, looking for the battle. Once she arrived, she didn't know if she actually wanted to be there. Uchiha Itachi stood alone, surrounded by over fifty people. He blurred out of vision and reappeared in back at the center. The group exploded into blood and limbs._

_Seeing five more people headed her way, Yuugao charged in and killed them. Her heart sank when she saw them. They were your everyday civilian. Specifically, they were the ones who worked at the grocery store she shopped at. Itachi glared at her, "What the hell are you doing? Who's protecting Naruto?"_

_Before she could answer, she felt the remaining chakra of her Bunshin return to her. Her heart sank. She zoomed back at speeds not know to most men. Along the way, she ran into Ibiki. He didn't have his mask on anymore. His attire was torn and bloody, although it wasn't just his blood. He turned to face her. What she saw then she would never forget, he was grinning. A little unnerved, she continued her way to Naruto's house._

_She saw Naruto's apartment on fire, adding to the many plumes of smoke filling the night sky. She rushed inside to find the corpses of many men. She briefly wondered if Naruto killed them before remembering why she came in there. "Naruto?" She yelled. She heard crying and ran to it. Naruto was trapped under a burning roof support beam. He was bloody and mangled, not to mention on fire. She quickly cast a water jutsu and hurried him out of the house._

_Outside, she found a few hundred men waiting for her. Half were shinobi, half were villagers. She readied herself to fight when suddenly, they were buried under a mud river. She saw Orochimaru standing on top of a building, frowning at the river he made._

_He glanced at her, before teleporting next to her. He asked, "Is he alright?" A glance at the boy made him sigh, "Damn that kid can take a hit... I'll get Tsunade." He vanished in a swirl of leaves to parts unknown._

_She looked around franticly, where is a safe place? Catching a glance at the forest, she zoomed off in its direction. Upon reaching its borders, she felt several chakra signatures following her. "Shit, Joonin at minimum." She stopped in a clearing and turned to face her pursuers._

_Five people burst through the leaves. The closest one spoke, "Leave the kid and you live." She drew her sword and set Naruto down. "Ha ha, looks like the bitch wants to play!"_

_They charged and entered a complex battle. The first set of attacks ended with one dead and her arm bleeding. The remaining four entered a set of complex Taijutsu/Ninjutsu combos. Slowly, her energy began to wear down. Eventually, she cut down two more before collapsing. The leader, obviously the strongest and very much alive, approached her, "ok slut, time for a little 'punishment.' Kenichi, have your fun with the boy." The man now known as Kenichi got a sadistic grin and pulled out a kunai._

_Kenichi started with the wrist, slowly yet roughly making train tracks. Upon each cut, Naruto would bite down his screams. After the man was down with both wrists, he impaled Naruto through the stomach. He did so again and again, with every kunai he had, making sure to hit vital organs yet not hitting ones that would cause a quick death. Naruto's pained screams filled the night sky._

_The leader smiled to himself, Kenichi always had been a creative one. Yuugao cried. She had failed Naruto, she had failed herself. The man looked back at her with a lecherous grin. He began to walk towards her. In fear, she began to back away. She backed into a tree and looked up at him with fearful eyes. He grinned and began to reach down at her. She closed her eyes, hoping that this wasn't happening. After not feeling anything for over ten seconds, she looked up. The first thing the saw was the grinning face of the leader. The next thing she noticed was that the man had the right half of his body missing, sliced from the clavicle, down._

"_Konoha Style: Dance of the Crescent Moon... success," came a dry remark from somewhere behind the leader. He shoved the man aside, revealing Hayate. Behind him, she noticed the man attacking Naruto was in less than two pieces. Hayate offered her his hand. She took it and allowed herself to be pulled up. He then grabbed Naruto and threw him onto his shoulder. Together, they limped back into the village..._

_End flashy!_

Sasuke let out a breath, that was quite the story. "After that, I took my break and got into a relationship with him. We got engaged, and we were supposed to have the wedding after the Chuunin Exam," she finished tell her story, giving a sigh when doing so.

He thanked her and went back outside, reading Naruto's file once again. Chapter four read:

_Sarutobi sent out Hayate Kakashi and his ANBU as a death squad. Anyone who even whispered a word against Naruto mysteriously disappeared, only to be found later in a mangled condition. After six months of this, a time which was known as "Shinin no Sasayaki" or Dead Man's Whisper, Kakashi resigned, saying that was enough punishment. Sarutobi was quick to agree, although he as still greatly unnerved about what happened._

_The years passed, with Naruto being watched over every night by some ANBU. When Naruto failed the Academy Test for the first time, he was tested again the next day. He passed the test with flying colors, although his Bunshin were distorted. A problem with the Kyuubi's chakra. He was actually ahead of everyone else by a year, so getting held back a year wasn't a true problem. His first class had the Rookie of the Year as Hyuuga Neji. The next year's class had the Rookie of the Year as Uchiha Sasuke. Between that time, he was tested two more times, failing the Bunshin every time. When it was finally time to graduate from his second year's class, he once again failed the Bunshin. That night, Mizuki had approached Naruto with a 'second way' to pass the test. It involved taking the Kinjutsu scroll that was guarded by Sarutobi himself. Naruto successfully infiltrated the Hokage tower, but was confronted by the Hokage. Using S ranked Ninjutsu _(Sasuke's eyes widened) _Orioke no Jutsu, Naruto defeated the Hokage. _

Sasuke stopped. He put the book away. Passerby's stared at him intently. Sasuke smirked, then grinned, then laughed, then gave a down right full-blown laugh that even made the 'happy men in white coats' stay away from him. With a smile on his face, he began reading again:

_Naruto took the scroll and ran off into the woods. Sarutobi called all the Chuunin and sent them out to find Naruto. Iruka, Naruto's academy sensei, found Naruto first and moved to confront him. They were later found by Mizuki. Mizuki proceeded to tell Naruto of his burden of Kyuubi and that Iruka hated him. After more talking, Naruto beat Mizuki into critical conditions that almost ended his life using the Joonin jutsu: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. After seeing Naruto take out a Chuunin, Iruka gave Naruto a Genin rank._

Sasuke smiled, so that's how the _dobe_ got to be a ninja. After scanning the paged, he found that he knew the rest of the information, until he got to the training program from the month break for the Chuunin Exams. Sasuke smirked at some of the things that happened to Naruto: getting thrown off a cliff, learning water walking, getting his five element seal removed, and learning the summoning technique. Sasuke then used the file to find out the things he missed with he was under Orochimaru's care.

When Sasuke was finished, he returned the file to the Hokage and retired back to his estate.

_Five years later..._

"So where exactly does this Ranmaru live?" asked the irritated Tsunade.

"Someone say my name?" asked a kid. He had medium length purple hair. His eyes were a reddish brown. His arms were toned from the constant stirring of the curry. He looked to be around ten years old.

Kyuubi grinned, "Yes, I was wondering if you could assist us with a little problem..."

_A good hour later..._

"...And then mended the body back to a decent condition with hopes that you could revive it," finished Kyuubi.

Ranmaru sat there, mind spinning with the new information. Naruto was dead. Naruto was the container for the Kyuubi. Kyuubi was a girl. Naruto needed to be revived. Ranmaru needed some sake. With a sigh, Ranmaru answered, "Alright, let's see the corpse." Tsunade handed him a bag that she was carrying. "First, let's do this in a more appropriate area."

They moved into the forest, secluded by the trees. "First, I need to find the soul." His eyes turned crimson and became unfocused. Tsunade and Kyuubi could _feel_ the chakra that was just rolling off the kid. He suddenly gasped, before collapsing. He sat up and faced the two anxious women, looking very exhausted, "I finally found the soul, but... it doesn't want to come back. I finally decided to force it back when the death god himself came. Like any normal human I uhhh dropped him and ran?"

Kyuubi blinked. She blinked again. She gave a snort, "I don't blame you, he has given me enough problems. Finding you trying to play 'god' probably would piss him off." That seemed to make Ranmaru nervous.

Tsunade gave her 2 cents, "Well guess what, you're not a 'normal human.' Shinigami-sama gave you that power for a reason. Now go back there and get that soul." She gave her 'say no and I'll make you fear me more than him' look. Ranmaru cringed before attempting it again.

Once again the eyes turned red. After a grunt, Ranmaru collapsed again. Without getting up, he muttered, "That better have worked."

Tsunade and Kyuubi looked at Naruto intently. After seeing no sign of life, they turned to yell at him when they heard a gasp for air. Their eyes snapped back to Naruto, finding his chest moving up and down and that his eyes were open. Kyuubi squealed and hugged him.

_Naruto, five minutes back..._

Naruto's eyes were shining with glee, "And then what happened, 'toosan?" Naruto was talking to a broad man.

The man had spiky yellow hair, much like Naruto's. His face also held the same determination. His eyes held the precious sapphires Naruto's did. "Well then, of course, I called forward the lazy bum himself and sealed her into your stomach!"

Next to them, Shinigami had a blank look on his face, "Lazy bum you say? How about a week with Jyuubi? I often get complaints that there aren't enough blonds to torch."

Arashi sweat-dropped, "oh no, it's fine. Was just a joke ya know? Heh..." Naruto laughed at him.

Sarutobi smiled at them. How they all ended up in the belly of the Shinigami was a different story. How Shinigami himself was inside his belly was a story that shouldn't be mentioned. They all heard a scream and looked... up?

Ranmaru was falling. Where he ended up, he didn't know. Looking around he found the Ball of Sunshine himself staring at him. Next to Naruto, he found Naruto's clone, if a wee bit taller than Naruto himself. He then found an old guy also staring next to him. Feeling awkward, he meekly waved and said, "Yo!"

Naruto blinked, _I know I've seen him somewhere... Wait a second!_ "Ranmaru?!" Naruto seemed to have remembered who this was. At the short nod he suddenly got worried, "What are you doing here? Were you killed?"

"No, no nothing like that! Kyuubi-sama and Tsunade-sama forc- err... _convinced_ me to bring you back," he replied.

Naruto's face scrunched up, "I rather not. I mean here, if a little dull, I am happy. I gave up my life there and now I'm in the next one."

Ranmaru stepped forward, "Naruto, be reasonable. Those two miss you greatly. Please come back!"

A little annoyed, Naruto curtly replied, "No." Not taking no as an answer, Ranmaru grabbed Naruto and began to bring him back, however he could. "Hey, HEY! What are you doing, PUT ME DOWN!" Ranmaru turned around right into... Shinigami?

"Well... shit," with that, Ranmaru vanished, leaving Naruto behind. Back outside, exhausted from using a resurrection jutsu, he was told to bring Naruto back at all cost.

Naruto sat down, "Uh, what was that all about?"

Shinigami sighed, "He was about to revive you. If I hadn't shown up he would have- Damn that kid is fast!" Ranmaru reappeared, grabbed Naruto, and left. He turned to Arashi, "Well, now that that's over with, we are at the Graveyard. Time to speak with your wife."

The Yondaime sweat-dropped, "You mean that's OK for someone to just take a soul from you?"

Shini-chan (mock now, repent later) grinned, "I had this planned. I gave the kid this power for a reason. Now, hurry up with this, I got too much damn paperwork to fill out." Both Hokage's gave him a look of understanding. The over worked death-god took out a whole day of his time to visit the Graveyard for his inhabitants. Shini-chan frowned with the mention of his paperwork. In the astral plane, you just couldn't get rid of it. He's tried giving it to Jyuubi for her to torch, he did his move devastating attack (just call it... boom), he asked Yondaime to jutsu it into a slop, he gave it to 'The Professor' to disintegrate it, he even tried making his servants do it. No matter what he did, IT JUST WOULDN'T GO AWAY!

Suddenly, a roar was heard throughout the plane, "SHINI-BAKA! I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST GIVE _MY_ PET AWAY TO THE LIVING WORLD!" Shini-chan, Arashi, and Sarutobi shivered. Married to angry Jyuubi means hell to pay, literally.

"Uh..."

_With Naruto..._

Naruto opened his eyes, "What the hell hit me? 'Toosan, get the listens plate of the truck, I'm gonna go Jyuubi on his ass..." He looked around and found Kyuubi, Tsunade, and a soon-to-be dead Ranmaru. "Damnit! I told you no!" Naruto yelled at him, before wincing at the severe pain it brought.

Kyuubi squealed and hugged him, "Naruto, I'm so glad you're back!" Naruto gagged, getting a face full of cleavage and not being able to breath. Ranmaru was backing away slowly, trying to escape Naruto's inevitable wrath. "I'm _so_ glad that Ranmaru was able to get you back to here." That's it; Ranmaru sprinted away as fast as his chakra exhausted body could move him. He ran face first into a branch and knocked himself out.

Naruto pushed her off him with a grunt, "Damnit Kyuubi, I can't breathe like that. Now before anything happens let me get one thing straight, I- mumph!" Tsunade was now hugging Naruto, tears leaking from her eyes. Naruto's face turned purple from lack of oxygen before she let go, still clinging onto him. "Damnit you Old Hag! Why can't I breathe in peace?" He sighed, hoping to let an explanation get through, "As I was saying, before I was so nicely interrupted, I do not want to be back here. I was perfectly fine with staying with my 'toosan, ojisan, and Shinigami-niisan. I finally found a place I can be at peace. Every week I get to meet the heroes of old along with my family. Please, let me stay there."

Naruto was fighting a battle on the inside, despite the confidence in his speech. He partially wanted to stay with these two beauties. To live a life with them and have a _true_ life on the living world. On the other hand, he partially wanted to return to his family. Emotions were conflicting. Watch the great Shinigami get whacked around by Jyuubi, watch the great Jiraiya get whacked around by the general female population. To hear epic stories from his father, to make epic stories with these women. To visit his family, to make a family. He frowned; it was confusing.

Tsunade pleaded to him, "Naruto, please. We love you. I lost everyone I've held dear to me and now the only one I have left is trying to leave! I want to have a life with you, not wait out my years until I finally get to join you! If you leave, I'll kill myself. I'm not going to be parted from you again."

"Ano... If you kill your self, you won't be with me. You will go to the Graveyard, while I get sucked back up into the stomach of the lazy bum himself (runs in the family). Also, as the rules say, killing yourself earns you a one way trip into Jyuubi's quarters. And trust me; you do NOT want to be there. She has a thing for blonds." Naruto shuddered at that. Kyuubi also shuddered, knowing what the Jyuubi does in her spare time.

Kyuubi on the other hand, gave her opposing story, "Naruto, I've been with you since you were born. With every beating, every failure, and every triumph. Despite my former feelings of hate for all humans, you showed me what a true human was like and I was happy to life with _you_. Now, after all the years of wanting to get rid of you, I want you to stay with me. Show me how a true human should act and how true humans have good sides to them once again. Please, stay with us. I love you." With that, she moved in and gave him a deep kiss.

Naruto kiss her back, and after a minute, he pushed her back slightly. He stared into both of their eyes, "I-"

"Come on dobe," Naruto stopped cold. The reason of his original death was here. "If you leave, no one can give me a challenge."

Naruto looked past them women at the source of his freedom and release, "Teme... I see you've returned to the village. I was glad I was finally able to beat some sense into you." He smirked at Sasuke, who smirked back. "Although, I don't see how I can just... _walk_ back into the village. I've finally found happiness. Returning to hatred and glares isn't a life I want."

"Dobe, you sound so weak right now. I remember a _man_ who never gave a damn what people though about him. A man who could turn the coldest heart into one of fire. A man who I spent FIVE YEARS waiting to get revived. All I see now is a weak _kid_ trying to run from his problems."

_A week later..._

Four figures entered the village. Two were clearly women. The next was a man with dark black hair and coal black eyes. The last was a ten year old kid with purple hair and red/brown eyes. Sasuke sighed, _for five years I waited for that moment. Sheer luck made me stumble upon them conversing about resurrecting Naruto, building tension and anxiety. Now _this_ happens..._

Tsunade returned to her office, Sasuke to his complex, and Kyuubi with the kid to Naruto's would-be apartment. Kyuubi set the kid onto the bed, facing her. The kid had a frown on his face, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to-" Kyuubi silenced him with a kiss. The boys brownish eyes widened in shock. Hearing the front door open made Kyuubi break the kiss. Tsunade walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

Her chocolate brown eyes radiated warmth and love, "It's time to 'catch up.' You can drop the Henge now, Naru-chan."

* * *

FINISHED! I was hoping for an epic ending. Probably didn't surprise you with the over-used 'person didn't return but actually did' idea. Well I very much like reviews, so cough em up! I mean please leave your thoughts.

_(1) When Sarutobi sealed away Orochimaru's arms with this technique, they turned to what looked to be stone. However, they do start bleeding so they might not be it. If someone can tell me what it is with proof, I'll change it._

_(2) There is three ways to write a Japanese word: general, specific, and actual. Three examples of general are Tokyo, Gato, and Jonin. Specific makes them Toukyou, Gatou, and Jounin. Actual makes them Tookyoo, Gatoo, and Joonin. General is pretty much the one used by Americans. Specific is direct translation from Hiragana (one of the three Japanese charts) to Romaji (English letters). Actual is what they really are. There is a writing rule in Japanese where oo is spelled ou (an exception is ice). The Naruto translators use specific translations. I use actual. If I get ten complaints about this (including the fact that they read this note) I'll change it, if not, sit down and learn to accept the different ways of writing._

_(3) Well Asuma's wife had to die somewhere. He IS the father of Konohamaru AND people say he's after Kurenai so you know that he is single._

_(4) For Konoha to be part of the 'Great Five Nations' I say there is at least a million people. This is a very small amount of people._

Sub-Zero879: Ok Churro: Caffeine, sugar, Red Bull (ignore the wings), Amp, No Fear Energy Drink, Starbucks, and Adrenalin better keep you awake. Now edit this!

Churro: (twitching and having spasms) heh heh I like sugar. Wait a sec... Seven Thousand words! Damnit! Why can't you do what 80 percent of the other people do and make a one hundred word chapter?

Sub-Zero879: because those are boring and get lots of flames. I like ice, flames melt ice. Melted ice makes me cry. When I cry my wrist 'magically' turns into a red train track. Red train tracks result in infection, and I like to live, 'nuf said.

Churro: Masochistic ass... Whatever, I'll do it. Then I'll return to _my _life.

Sub-Zero879: If 'you life' involves leaving this box I will rob some fat guys house and give you a hundred dollars.

Churro: (sweat-drop) _it's times like these I wish I stayed in school..._

Sub-Zero879: AHA! I knew it. Now edit the chapter slave, I mean servant. Wait...

'Shini-chan:' and right now would be a good time to repent.

Omake with extra sugar and a hint of honey cause I'm hungry.

Suddenly, a roar was heard throughout the plane, "SHINI-BAKA! I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST GIVE _MY_ PET AWAY TO THE LIVING WORLD!" Shini-chan, Arashi, and Sarutobi shivered. Married to angry Jyuubi means hell to pay, literally.

"Uh..." Shini-chan quickly turned to Arashi, "Quick, Henge into Naruto. We might be able to pull it off." Arashi did so and looked just like his son.

A silver haired woman with bat wings coming out her back approached them. She grabbed 'Naruto' and began to walk away, "come on Naru-chan, it's that time of the year again." Arashi gulped.

Once out of hearing range, Sarutobi turned to Shini-chan, "That time of the year? And shouldn't the Jyuubi have ten tails?"

Shini-chan gave a sigh of relief, "'that time of the year' is when she's in heat. God bless Arashi's soul. Oh wait... I bless Arashi's soul. As for the tails, well she doesn't really have any, and if she does, she's hiding them."

"In heat? Shouldn't she have grabbed her husband?"

"She's in a 'blonds are more fun' phase right now. I have absolutely no idea why my karma is so good."

_The next day..._

Shini-chan screamed. A heart-wrenching, girly, 'pity my soul' scream. He now understood why he had such good karma. The paper work was now as big as Kyuubi in her fox form. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!" He pulled out a paper and read:

_Dear Shinigami-sama,_

_I have been informed that a soul has been allowed to leave here to go back into the living realm. Send me back please._

_-Dan_

Shini-chan's eyes widen when he noticed they were all like that. Billions of souls requesting to be freed and he had to answer each and every one of them. "Mommy..."

Jyuubi grinned, _that's for trying to trick me into thinking he was Naruto. Don't mess with fire unless you expect to get burned. In this case, informing eight billion unhappy souls that they might have a chance of getting free._


End file.
